The Client-centred Blog

How to move from hating selling to loving selling

How many professional people hate selling their services or feel uncomfortable with it in some way?

My experience is quite a lot.

Many advisers have shared with me the fact that they love working with their existing clients but do not particularly enjoy the process of client acquisition.

Sales training programmes often have it back to front. You are taught that serving your client comes after they have agreed to work with you and, therefore, the whole process is about getting someone ‘over the line’.

I have paid a lot of money to attend sales and influencing programmes in the past and when I look back much of the material made it far more difficult.

It is no wonder so many people struggle with sales and I was just the same.

When we think about sales as something you do ‘to’ someone and it feels like taking, manipulation or maneuvering then of course the experience is not going to be a good one.

Yet I now enjoy the selling part of my business as much as working with my clients.

So, I know it is possible to change, no matter where you are now.

If you observed me today in a conversation with an existing client or with a potential client today you would not be able to tell the difference. From the very beginning the conversations are always about serving and creating value rather than waiting until you start getting paid.

What changed? Two things.

1. Understanding the role of thought.

Selling or any other activity for that matter cannot make you feel bad. The human mind only works one way. We feel our thinking, not our circumstances.

The way the mind works is that you always get to think again. You can always see something in a new and different way.

So, if you have thoughts and feelings around selling that disempower you these are not set in stone or genetically determined. You can change your mind.

2. Sales through serving.

True service is when your attention is 100% upon the person in front of you and what you can do for them.

Resistance is a habit that comes from focusing inwardly upon ourselves and this is always what gets in the way. When none of your attention is upon yourself then feelings of self-consciousness, insecurity or fear will quickly fade away.

There is something magical about devoting yourself to service because it comes from love.

Loving selling is not about tactics, techniques or what you do. It is always about where you are coming from.

P.S. If you want to understand more about this approach look at A whole new way of thinking about selling’ by Michael Neill

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