I remember once hearing someone say that the first thing a client buys is a relationship.
In other words, if a client is going to work with a financial planner or adviser then absolute trust, human connection, and confidence in you are the foundation.
So, how do you create the shortest path to this level of relationship?
An insightful lesson from the airline business
In ‘The client-centred financial adviser‘ book I shared a story about one of the big American airlines.
They were recruiting for cabin crew but rather than having people come in for their interviews one at a time they decided to do it in groups.
So, the applicants were all invited along to one big interview session.
When the applicants arrived, they found they were in a hall with a stage up at the front. Each person was asked to go up on to the stage and say why they wanted the job.
What the applicants thought was that it was their performance on stage that they were being judged upon.
But they were mistaken. The recruitment people were actually watching the audience. What they were interested in was how each member of the audience was responding to the people on the stage.
Who was showing genuine caring for the person up on stage? Who was empathising?
The thinking was that those people whose interest was in other people, even in a pressure situation, were likely to make the best cabin crew.
Relationships exist at distinct levels
Imagine there are three levels of relationship.
*Level 1. It’s all about you – the focus is on what you’re getting out of the relationship, so it’s based on taking.
*Level 2. It’s all about equality – the focus is on meeting both the clients and your needs, so it’s based on give and take.
*Level 3. It’s all about the client – The relationship is entirely about meeting the needs of the client, so it’s based on giving.
The airline was looking for level 3 people, and their hunch was proved right.
The campaign was extraordinarily successful. The new recruits had the most compliments and least complaints of any group before.
Creating Level 3 Relationships
Genuine caring, from the heart, is the most powerful message you can give.
Clients are drawn to this, they relax, and it’s the basis of why they would recommend you to others.
But here’s the part that often gets missed:
You can’t fake level 3.
Clients are sensitive to your state of mind. They may not be able to describe it in words, but they feel it instantly.
If you are caught up in your own performance, your targets, or how you’re coming across, your attention is subtly on you. Even if your questions sound caring, the relationship won’t land at level 3.
When your state of mind is clear and your self-orientation is low, something different happens.
*Your attention naturally goes outward.
*Your listening deepens without effort.
*Your care feels real and you naturally connect at a deeply human level.
*You don’t have to “do” empathy. It shows up on its own.
This is why the shortest path to level 3 relationships isn’t a technique, a script, or a better set of questions.
It’s the quality of mind you bring into the room. From a settled, spacious state of mind, genuine caring is automatic.
Clients feel safe, understood, and valued.
PS. Want to know more about state of mind and its importance in your work? Click here.
