The Client-centred Blog

Helping clients stop living in life’s waiting room

One of the most common assumptions people make is this:

“I’ll be happy when…”

I’ll be happy when I can retire.

I’ll be happy when the mortgage is paid off.

I’ll be happy when I have enough money.

I’ll be happy when I can work less.

I’ll be happy when I’ve achieved financial freedom.

At first glance, these seem like perfectly reasonable goals.

In fact, many of them are exactly the kinds of goals financial planners help clients work towards every day.

But there is a subtle trap hidden within them.

The trap is that happiness becomes conditional. Life gets placed on hold.

And before people realise it, they find themselves living in what I sometimes think of as life’s waiting room.

Waiting for retirement, the next promotion, or for some future circumstance that promises to deliver the feeling they are looking for.

The problem is that life doesn’t work well that way.

Why SMART goals aren’t enough

Most of us have come across the idea of SMART goals.

The wisdom is that goals should be specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time bound.

There is certainly value in having clarity around what we want to achieve.

But have you ever set a perfectly good goal and then found your motivation disappear halfway through?

I certainly have.

For years I assumed there was something wrong with me.

Perhaps I lacked discipline, motivation, or I simply didn’t want success badly enough.

What I eventually realised was that the issue wasn’t my commitment.

It was the nature of the goal itself.

The great Western disease

Marshall Goldsmith famously described what he called the great Western disease:

“I’ll be happy when…”

It’s a mindset that quietly suggests our wellbeing lives somewhere in the future.

Just over the horizon, one achievement away, or just past the next milestone.

Yet if this were true, wouldn’t every wealthy, successful, accomplished person be fulfilled and content?

Clearly that isn’t the case.

We all know examples of people who appear to have everything and yet still struggle with dissatisfaction, anxiety, or unhappiness.

The reason is simple.

The feelings we are looking for do not come from our circumstances. They come from within.

This understanding sits at the heart of the inside-out nature of human experience.

We don’t experience life through our circumstances. We experience life through thought in the moment.

That means no amount of money, success, status, or achievement has the power to permanently give us what we are already capable of experiencing right now.

A healthier way to think about goals

None of this means goals are unimportant.

Far from it.

Goals can inspire us. They can provide direction. They can help us make meaningful decisions.

But there is a profound difference between pursuing a goal because it expresses something meaningful to us and pursuing a goal because we believe our happiness depends upon it.

One creates freedom.

The other creates pressure.

Think about something you genuinely love doing.

It could be a favourite hobby, walking in nature, gardening, writing, or spending time with family.

You may have outcomes you hope for, but the activity itself has intrinsic value.

You would do it even if there were no guarantee of a particular result.

The journey is part of the reward.

Healthy goals work in much the same way. The destination matters. But so does the experience of getting there.

This is one of the keys to being in a state of ‘flow‘ as Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi wrote about in his best-selling book of the same name.

What this means for financial planners

One of the greatest gifts a financial planner can offer is helping clients see beyond the numbers.

Behind every financial goal sits deeper aspirations.

*Security.

*Freedom.

*Peace of mind.

*Choice.

*Connection.

*Time with the people they love.

When you help clients uncover what really matters, something interesting happens.

The conversation changes.

Financial planning becomes less about reaching a future destination and more about creating a life that is meaningful now, whilst also building for tomorrow.

After all, what is the point of helping someone achieve financial freedom if they spend the next twenty years feeling trapped?

The most successful financial plans don’t simply help people arrive somewhere in the future.

They help people enjoy the journey as well.

Because the real goal was never the money.

The money was simply a vehicle for living well.

PS. Conduct magical client meetings every time. Click here.

Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn

Leave a Comment

Get your FREE copy of
‘Magical Client Meetings Every Time!’ report and exclusive content

Just pop in your name and email below for immediate download

Your information is not shared or sold to anyone else.

SEARCH BLOG

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

John Dashfield spent 14 years as a self-employed adviser. Since 2006 he has been a coach, mentor and author helping advisers create transformations in their business and personal lives.

Related articles

The beginner’s mind: a hidden advantage in financial planning
Clarity: The ultimate productivity tool for financial planners
As a financial planner, do you ever feel busy all day but still not as productive as you’d like to be? Would you like to get more done, with less stress, and more clarity? Most time management advice focuses on tools, systems, and techniques. While these can help, they often miss the deeper issue behind poor productivity.

Get your FREE copy of
‘Magical Client Meetings Every Time!’ report and exclusive content

Just pop in your name and email below for immediate download

Your information is not shared or sold to anyone else.

SEARCH BLOG

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

John Dashfield spent 14 years as a self-employed adviser. Since 2006 he has been a coach, mentor and author helping advisers create transformations in their business and personal lives.

Get your FREE copy of the
'Magical Client Meetings Every Time!' report
and exclusive content

Just pop in your name and email below for immediate download

Your information is not shared or sold to anyone else.