Happiness matters. Not least because there is a well-documented correlation between our happiness and our health, wealth, and quality of life.
As a financial professional you give valuable advice and guidance to your clients. But what is the point if your clients are not any happier?
The conventional wisdom about happiness
You could probably fill a small library with books written about happiness. Every day in the media I come across articles about happiness that share the latest research on the subject.
As I reflected on this it seems to me that there is one single question, innocently asked, that is at the root of our pursuit of happiness. This is:
What will make me happy?
In the financial planning world and at the core of many financial planners’ approaches to creating a financial plan is a similar idea:
Find what makes you happy and do more of this.
This seems a sound idea, right? It is what used to make sense to me. Yet at some point I noticed too many inconsistencies for it to be relied upon.
The great Western disease
As I have quoted many times in the past, the coach and author, Marshall Goldsmith ( https://marshallgoldsmith.com/) calls the great Western disease:
“I’ll be happy when… “
Our cultural understanding about happiness is that it is a destination. It is something that we get to experience because of external conditions meeting certain criteria.
For instance, finding the right job, being in the right relationship, having material things, money, activities, or experiences. The imagined criteria for experiencing happiness will vary from person to person. So, what makes me happy may not make you happy and vice versa.
As a result of this conditioning, we spend a great deal of time, energy, money, effort and resources in the pursuit of happiness.
Yet are external objects where it is to be found? And if not, where is it?
The truth about happiness
Over twenty years ago I was taught the practice of Transcendental Meditation. My teacher made a point that I will always remember when he said:
“You will never experience a better meditation by really going for it. It just does not work that way.”
Happiness is just the same. The harder you pursue it, the further away it gets.
But why is this?
Rupert Spira’s book, ‘You are the happiness you seek’ explores the fundamental nature of happiness and he writes:
“Everybody knows the experience of happiness. However, not everybody knows that happiness is the very nature of our self and can be found in the depth of our being. As a result of this overlooking of the essential nature of our self, a great search is initiated in the realm of objective experience.”
In other words, seeking happiness outside of yourself will not work because it cannot work. It would be like looking for a sunrise in the west. No matter how earnest you are or how hard you try it will not be found where you are looking.
I concede that external objects seem to be the cause of happiness because we may experience a temporary feeling of happiness upon our criteria being met.
However, did the object cause or supply happiness? No. It was because you temporarily stopped seeking, your mind relaxed, and your innate peace, contentment, and happiness were revealed.
Does this negate financial planning?
To me, it seems wise to plan for a future that you want rather than stumbling into one that you don’t. Yet planning on the basis of “I’ll be happy when… ” is a fool’s errand and reinforces the illusion.
Why wait for something that is already within you and available right now?
PS. Why is a client’s well-being at the core of financial planning? Click here to read more.
