The Client-centred Blog

Do you ever get in your own way? Here is how to stop

What is it that gets in the way of accomplishing your most desired goals and objectives?

Of course, there are often external obstacles to navigate, maybe things that you did not anticipate, tasks you do not yet possess the level of skill for, or creating the time required.

But these are rarely what really stop people.

An enlightened business leader was once teaching a group of new entrepreneurs about increasing their level of success, and he wanted to demonstrate what it is that gets in the way.

He had a glass of water on his desk at the front of the room and he went over and picked it up.

Some of the class immediately thought he was going to ask the ‘Is the glass half empty or half full?’ question.

Anticipating this he smiled and asked, “How heavy do you think this glass of water is?”

People gave a variety of answers but to everyone’s amusement he said, “Actually, I don’t have a clue what it weighs, and, in fact, it doesn’t matter. 

What really matters is how long you hold the glass for.

If you hold it for a minute or even several minutes, it makes no difference. After an hour it might start to get uncomfortable. Eventually, you would struggle, and it would begin to hurt.”

He went on to explain…

“Fearful thinking is like this. If it comes into your mind and is there just temporarily, that’s fine and perfectly natural. But if you become pre-occupied with it, then your ability to function and create the success you want will be compromised.”

Why do we get so pre-occupied with fearful thinking?

Fearful thinking is created when we misuse our imagination. We create thoughts of a future that looks bad to us and this does not feel good.

We can easily misinterpret this as a lack of willpower, discipline, motivation, desire, or intelligence – in other words we blame ourselves and think we are not good enough in some way.

But this just digs us into a hole.

Psychologist carl Jung observed:

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

The inherent design of the mind

Imagine you are in a swimming pool and you hold a football under the water. 

What does the ball want to do?

It wants to immediately rise to the surface, and it is only you that are preventing it. It takes a lot of energy to hold the ball down and yet none to release it.

Your mind is like the ball. It wants to rise. It wants to be free, clear, and present. Only you prevent it by holding on to thoughts.

As Jung observed it is awareness that releases us from the belief and attachment to thoughts.   

Awareness is far more powerful than we realise.

“Seriousness, like life, is a thought … and this thought creates a feeling. And if you create the feeling of seriousness, then you are in a very serious state …

“You are very liable to have stress, strain, sickness and unhappiness and jealousy and everything else … Now, seriousness doesn’t help you do anything in life, but destroy yourself.” Sydney Banks

P.S. Coach Michael Neill i this video explores ‘The True Cause of Anxiety and How to Overcome it’. Click here to view.


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