A while back I was introduced to the distinction between being driven verses being drawn.
As I reflected on this distinction, I could see that I had spent a lot of time feeling driven.
To me, the future always seemed very compelling and hence I invested a lot in trying to get into it as fast as I could. I was certainly not alone. I could also see how common it is for business people to drive themselves hard to achieve results in the belief that this is the best way or even the only way.
Why can being driven makes sense?
We want to create the results that matter to us, and this is fine. Yet when we look around us at what other people are doing what do we tend to see?
We have this culturally held belief that the results we want are created from pushing hard, making it happen, striving, and ever more effort.
Also, part of this belief is the idea that the things we really want, such as peace of mind, contentment, happiness, love, and inner freedom are rewards to be experienced only upon reaching our goals.
So, does this approach stand up to scrutiny?
There are only two emotions
Consider that there are only two basic emotions you can experience. Love or fear.
When experiencing fear, you are readied for dealing with immediate danger. Your heart beats faster, your system is flooded with stress hormones (like adrenaline and cortisol) and you become hyper alert.
Whilst fear is natural and normal it is unhealthy, both mentally and physically, when the stress response is prolonged. From a psychological perspective fear distorts your ability to think with clarity. It can cause you to feel isolated, defensive, and self-orientated.
Being driven, in the way I am talking about it here, is being driven by fear-based feelings and emotions.
The physiology of love is completely different. Fear is absent and you feel a sense of connection and belonging. You are in touch with your spirit, feel guided and have a natural and easy sense of what you want to do. You see things with greater clarity and perspective.
Allowing yourself to be drawn
There is the deeper part of us that is always guiding us, nudging us, and providing insights. Call it spirit, innate wisdom, source energy, infinite intelligence, or soul.
These thoughts draw you. They invite you. They have a good feeling to them.
You realise that peace of mind, contentment, happiness, love, and inner freedom, instead of being rewards to be experienced only upon reaching your goals, are available to you right now. They become a mode of travel, not a future destination.
One huge implication of this is that instead of trying so hard to get into an imaginary future you spend far more time in the present. Because living any other way makes less and less sense.
Eckhart Tolle, who wrote ‘The power of now’ insightfully observed:
“Your entire life only happens in this moment. The present moment is life itself. Yet, people live as if the opposite were true and treat the present moment as a stepping stone to the next moment – a means to an end.”
I invite you to notice the areas in your life where you feel driven. When are you going to let go of fear (which is only thought) and allow yourself to be guided?
PS. Does this resonate with you? If you’re ready to find out more then drop me an email at john@clientcentredadvisers.com
