The Client-centred Blog

What does a reformed prison inmate have to do with us?

Last weekend I attended my favourite annual conference, the ‘Life 2.0 Three Principles Conference’.

It was my 7th conference and in that time the number of people attending has tripled to around 900.

On the drive home afterwards the friend I attended with asked me if any moment stood out for me.

All the speakers were wonderful but as I reflected on the question, it was the first speaker of the day that came to mind.

His name was Dave. He walked on to the stage in front of all these people and said he would just talk from his heart.

He shared that he was 35 years old and had spent much of his adult life in and out of prison. He had been a violent man and had a history of making trouble. His stays in prison had often been extended because of his bad behaviour and on being released he was usually back inside after only a short while.

This seemed to be his life’s path.

Then a few short years ago he attended a programme run by an organisation called ‘Beyond Recovery’. Set up by Jacqueline Hollows, they deliver workshops within the Criminal Justice System.

On the programme they share the inside-out understanding.

Dave admitted that on first attending he sat there thinking ‘What a load of c**p!’

But despite all his negative thinking Dave had an insight and the shift was immediate and permanent.

This is one of the extraordinary things about this understanding.

Despite all our beliefs, opinions and positions about how we think life works, there is a fundamental truth common to every single one of us – our true nature.

Because this understanding is beyond the intellect, people can hear something even though they have been determined not to. And we only need to realise this truth for a moment, and we transform.

The speaker after Dave was renowned success coach Michael Neill who said…

Dave is us. We are Dave.

Of course, we have a completely different life to the one Dave was living, but we all have our insecurities that appear real to us. We all have an ego that we invest in. We all have feelings based on the misunderstanding that something other than thought in the moment is the cause.

And this is why we chase shadows – we think that something outside of us can give us what we need. But this cannot ever work.

Dave was very open. His honesty was powerful.

He said that even now he can get the kind of thinking that previously landed him in jail. But he knows it is just thought. He is connected to the deeper wisdom of his true self and lets the thinking go.

Since his being released he knows he will not be going back. He has a new relationship, job and is making his life work in a positive way.

What does this have to do with us?

As I said, we all get caught up in our thinking. Often it is thinking that we are not even consciously aware of.

But wisdom is always alive inside us too, and we only need to listen for it.

When we drop back into this infinite ‘space inside’ the more we are available to do life well.

Why we resist change…

The ego will make up all sorts of things (but this is just insecure thinking). It does not like change because it sees it as a risk.

For example, some of my clients, upon being introduced to this understanding, have expressed the fear that they will lose all their motivation and just do nothing.

That by living in peace of mind, love and well-being it will stop them accomplishing and achieving things.

In fact, I have found the opposite to be true. Pressure and tension are a hindrance, not a help.

With a free mind your productivity goes up. You accomplish a great deal more by doing less. You naturally realise far more of your potential.

And on top of this you have a wonderful time doing it as opposed to the struggle through life that so many ‘high-functioning’ people live with on a daily basis.

Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn

Leave a Comment

Related articles

How to deal with imposter syndrome
Do you ever feel like an imposter in your role, that you will get 'found out', or do not deserve your success? If so, you are far from alone as this is extremely common amongst business people.
The end of sales techniques: How authentic connection drives results
Being able to positively influence someone and confidently sell your services are essential skills if you want to build a thriving financial planning practice. Yet it seems that many advisers feel uncomfortable in sales situations. They may fear coming across as 'pushy', being rejected, or receiving push-back. Some believe that they need to employ techniques to improve their results.
Success is an Inside Job: Why your state of mind is key to thriving as a financial adviser
The importance and effect of state of mind is well known in sport. A recent and brilliant example being British triathlete Alex Yee at the Paris Olympics. In the men's individual triathlon Alex was trailing Hayden Wilde of New Zealand as he had been for most of the run. He was far enough behind that no one expected him to challenge for the win.
The number one business strategy for financial planners - part two
The number one business strategy is caring for your mind based upon the universal truth that in clear, present, and unburdened states of mind we are free to bring our best to whatever we are doing.
The number one business strategy for financial planners - part one
If you are a financial planner and want to improve your business results this article shares the most powerful yet under-utilised strategy.
Do you ever get in your own way? Here's what helped me
Do you ever get in your own way? I know I do. I have times when I feel in a low mood, everything seems more difficult, and my natural zest disappears. Many times I have had clients say to me that the only thing stopping them is themselves. So, how do we deal with this and get back in the flow?
Time management for financial planners - why helpful tips are not the answer
How often have you felt like you had way too much to do, way too little time to do it, and you've stressed out as a result?
The biggest challenge (and opportunity) in the financial planning process
In a perfect world a client goes through the financial planning process and implements the recommendations and advice they are given. As a result, they are happy and achieve their goals. Yet we are not living in a perfect world, which presents both a challenge and an opportunity for financial planners and their financial planning process.
20 bad financial adviser inter-personal habits
In this weeks’ blog I am looking at... 20 bad financial adviser inter-personal habits Look and see if any of these apply to you. Corrective action can make an enormous difference to your success.
Integrity: It is more important than we think 
As professional people we value integrity, right? We like to think of ourselves as being a person of integrity and we want other people to act with integrity towards us. To me, this seems at the very core of trust.
The most dangerous word in the English language
When we think back to when we were little kids, we never knew what limitations were. In fact, to little kids the very idea of a limitation is absurd. Our imaginations knew no boundaries and we lived in a world of pure possibility. You could be a superhero, be invisible, fly, or travel in time like Doctor Who.  As such, life was full of joy, curiosity, and wonder.
The little understood power of the present moment
In a world where we seem to be so focused upon 'doing' it is so easy to forget that it's our state of mind that determines the quality of our actions, depth of impact, and overall quality of our life experience. For instance, I realised: *To truly connect with other people I had to be fully present with them *To perform better at anything I do then the quality of my attention is the most significant factor *Happiness and contentment are not circumstance dependent; they are a function of how present we are in our lives
Twenty signs you are on the path to truly great financial planning
What is the difference between 'average' financial planners and those who become truly great at what they do? I have been reflecting on this question for a while now and wanted to share my thoughts on this with you. I think it begins with the 'want to'. Do you truly want to become great at what you do?
My favourite Warren Buffett quote and why it matters
Warren Buffett is one of the most successful investors of all time and one of the world’s wealthiest individuals. He also has some very astute observations about life. My favourite is his observation that: 'Busy is the new stupid.' One time he was in discussion with another super successful person, Bill Gates, and they touched upon the subject of productivity.
A simple guide to living in flow
Would you like to spend far more of your time in a state of 'flow'? Flow is the experience of being totally absorbed in the moment, when time seems to stand still, and nothing else seems to matter. I was reading about the legendary tennis player Billie Jean King and how she described her experience of a game...
Why I stopped meditating
Last week I had a wonderful conversation with a friend who has a vast amount of experience as a coach and has worked with thousands of people. She observed that in her experience every single person always wants the same thing in the end. Ultimately, we all want to feel clear minded, present, happy, content, and free from the burden of worry and stress. Who doesn't want more of this?
The twelve client-centred mind shifts - part 1
You have worked hard to become a qualified financial professional. You are making a difference in the lives of your clients and your business is steady. This is a big, well-deserved success and there is much to celebrate. Yet at this stage you might also pause, reflect, and ask yourself, “What’s next?”
How to transcend the financial planner comfort zone
Our comfort zone can be very limiting. For instance, it can hold you back from realising your greater potential, making a bigger difference to your clients, and experiencing greater success. So, in this article I explore what a financial planner comfort zone is and what it takes to transcend it. 
Resilience: An essential key to building a financial planning practice
Have you noticed how resilience has become a hot topic in business? For instance, there are TED talks on it, articles in the Harvard Business Review, and covid brought into sharp focus how unforeseen events can literally change our lives in a moment. This article explores a deeper understanding of resilience and why it is key for building a financial planning practice.
Better time management for financial advisers and planners
As a financial planner are you as productive as you would like to be? Would you like to get more done, in less time, and with none of the stress? In this article I am going to explore the hidden factor that leads to genuinely better time management for financial advisers and planners.
Building a financial planning business - overcoming the biggest obstacle
Building a financial planning business is not easy! In fact, you are far from alone if you find it challenging. This article explores one of the biggest obstacles of all and how to rapidly get back on track.
To succeed you must have self belief... really?
If you have a goal or outcome that is important to you and you want to go for it, then what does self belief and whether you have it or not have to do with it?