The Client-centred Blog

Selling your services – are you pushing or pulling?

Easy way hard way

‘To effectively engage someone, you must be operating from a higher level of consciousness than the other person at that moment’. Garrett Kramer, Stillpower

At a time when consumers have more choice, are more demanding and less tolerant of being placed under any kind of negative pressure it has never been more important to up your game in terms of the way you present your services – the future of your business may depend upon it!

In this article we will look at two very distinct styles of selling and the shift that needs to take place to build even stronger client relationships and have new prospective clients actively seeking you out.

The two styles of selling

Although we could probably fill a small library with books on how to sell it seems to me that there are only two very distinct styles. These are what I would call pushing and pulling.

To take it down to its most basic form what the pusher is saying and doing amounts to ‘Here is what I offer, would you like to buy one?’ Pushers tend to ‘pitch’ to clients and often use the traditionally taught ‘features and benefits’ approach in the hope that something sticks. They also try to convince or even entice a prospective client into purchasing because their primary goal is making a sale.

Creating a pull is very different. The puller deeply engages a potential client. They ask searching questions, they listen deeply and they try to understand where someone is coming from. Instead of trying to convince or persuade their intention is, first and foremost, to connect and understand. Only upon doing this, and with the persons permission or invitation, do they begin to share information about how they might be able to help (if indeed they think they can).

Ultimately, these two styles will create completely different levels of trust, respect and human connection. Being seen as a ‘trusted adviser’ by clients is the result of creating a pull, rather than pushing. This also happens to be very good for business. Trusted advisers invariably win more business, experience greater client loyalty and tend to receive a regular flow (often unsolicited) of high-quality referrals.

What is actually behind these two very different styles?

For many years I got hooked up on the idea that the difference was all about language and behaviour. I thought that if someone could learn to do and say the right things then this would be of great benefit to them when trying to be more successful with building better relationships and selling their services.

However, it began to dawn on me that there were people I came across who paid no conscious attention to their language and behaviour and yet they were brilliant at engaging clients and creating exceptionally strong relationships. At the same time I also saw that there were people who had paid enormous attention to what they said and did and yet their results showed little or no improvement.

Something else was clearly going.

About five years ago I got introduced to a highly practical understanding of the human mind that made it crystal clear why focusing on language and behaviour is so hit and miss.

At a more fundamental level than our language and behaviour is our state of mind. Our behaviour is the result of state of mind and when we are communicating with other people what they are responding to is our feeling state rather than primarily what we say or do.

So, to put this into the context of this article, pushing is invariably the result of an underlying feeling of insecurity, tension or pressure within the adviser. What this means is that instead of being completely and totally focused upon the client they have their own personal thinking on their mind too.

The problem is that clients  will often sense this too and it creates a barrier. If the adviser is not comfortable then the client is not going to feel comfortable either and it compromises the quality of the communication. It drastically lowers your ability to positively influence someone because if a client is not bought into the adviser then they will be reluctant to follow their lead.

The power of presence

The single most important thing you can do to build complete trust and create outstandingly good client relationships is to be fully present with your client. What this means in practice is that you do not occupy your mind by evaluating, judging, filtering, fixing, solving or, in fact, any kind of mental activity that takes your attention away from your client.

When your mind is clear you are free to both notice and be responsive to what the client is really thinking, feeling and trying to communicate. This it creates a deeper level of connection because the client really feels ‘heard’ and that you really were paying attention.

You cannot under-estimate just how much difference this makes. But it is also highly unusual. Very few people have real, genuine presence because most people, often unknowingly, have a lot of personal thinking going on.

Surely the job is about providing solutions to client’s problems?

I have noticed that, for some advisers, the idea of having nothing on their mind seems counter-intuitive. The thinking is that surely your mind should be on assessing the client’s needs, situation and how you can help?

Of course, you are there to help and serve your client and I am not suggesting that you disregard the issues that your clients have; quite the contrary. However, I am very clearly and specifically saying that in a client interaction your quality of mind is by far the most significant factor in building the kind of relationships that every adviser really wants to have with their clients.

Creating a pull through presence, listening and the quality of your connection is the most powerful way to sell because it dissolves resistance, facilitates your clients doing their very best thinking and feels natural and easy. Pushing, on the other hand, is draining, coercive and highly-ineffective by comparison.

Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn

Leave a Comment

Related articles

A simple formula for making more money
Would you like your career as a financial planner or adviser to be more financially rewarding? I sometimes have conversations with advisers who are not enjoying what they do. Some even say they are thinking of leaving the business altogether. Often, at the root of this is that they are not making enough money.
Integrity: It is more important than we think 
As professional people we value integrity, right? We like to think of ourselves as being a person of integrity and we want other people to act with integrity towards us. To me, this seems at the very core of trust.
The most dangerous word in the English language
When we think back to when we were little kids, we never knew what limitations were. In fact, to little kids the very idea of a limitation is absurd. Our imaginations knew no boundaries and we lived in a world of pure possibility. You could be a superhero, be invisible, fly, or travel in time like Doctor Who.  As such, life was full of joy, curiosity, and wonder.
How to have clients sell financial planning to themselves
A realisation that has been extremely helpful to me is that you can never want something for your client more than they want it for themselves. In this way, financial planning is almost certainly going to be most beneficial when a client sells it to themselves. This article explores why this is and one of the most effective ways to have it happen.
The little understood power of the present moment
In a world where we seem to be so focused upon 'doing' it is so easy to forget that it's our state of mind that determines the quality of our actions, depth of impact, and overall quality of our life experience. For instance, I realised: *To truly connect with other people I had to be fully present with them *To perform better at anything I do then the quality of my attention is the most significant factor *Happiness and contentment are not circumstance dependent; they are a function of how present we are in our lives
Twenty signs you are on the path to truly great financial planning
What is the difference between 'average' financial planners and those who become truly great at what they do? I have been reflecting on this question for a while now and wanted to share my thoughts on this with you. I think it begins with the 'want to'. Do you truly want to become great at what you do?
My favourite Warren Buffett quote and why it matters
Warren Buffett is one of the most successful investors of all time and one of the world’s wealthiest individuals. He also has some very astute observations about life. My favourite is his observation that: 'Busy is the new stupid.' One time he was in discussion with another super successful person, Bill Gates, and they touched upon the subject of productivity.
A simple guide to living in flow
Would you like to spend far more of your time in a state of 'flow'? Flow is the experience of being totally absorbed in the moment, when time seems to stand still, and nothing else seems to matter. I was reading about the legendary tennis player Billie Jean King and how she described her experience of a game...
Why I stopped meditating
Last week I had a wonderful conversation with a friend who has a vast amount of experience as a coach and has worked with thousands of people. She observed that in her experience every single person always wants the same thing in the end. Ultimately, we all want to feel clear minded, present, happy, content, and free from the burden of worry and stress. Who doesn't want more of this?
The twelve client-centred mind shifts - part 1
You have worked hard to become a qualified financial professional. You are making a difference in the lives of your clients and your business is steady. This is a big, well-deserved success and there is much to celebrate. Yet at this stage you might also pause, reflect, and ask yourself, “What’s next?”
What makes a client want to engage a financial planner?
A successful financial planner I work with remarked to me that no one ever approaches him for a financial planning engagement. Instead, there is usually a trigger event that leads a client to thinking they want a financial product, financial issue solved, or investment advice. So, how do you shift the conversation?
How to transcend the financial planner comfort zone
Our comfort zone can be very limiting. For instance, it can hold you back from realising your greater potential, making a bigger difference to your clients, and experiencing greater success. So, in this article I explore what a financial planner comfort zone is and what it takes to transcend it. 
How to deal with imposter syndrome
Do you ever feel like an imposter in your role, that you will get 'found out', or do not deserve your success? If so, you are far from alone as this is extremely common amongst business people.
Want more financial planning referrals? This MUST happen first
Good financial planning referrals from happy existing clients are one of the best ways to grow your practice. Yet to create a regular and increasing flow of quality referrals there is something that MUST happen first. Let me share a story.
Resilience: An essential key to building a financial planning practice
Have you noticed how resilience has become a hot topic in business? For instance, there are TED talks on it, articles in the Harvard Business Review, and covid brought into sharp focus how unforeseen events can literally change our lives in a moment. This article explores a deeper understanding of resilience and why it is key for building a financial planning practice.
How to sell more financial planning: stop giving advice
Do you want to sell more financial planning and boost your income? If so, then stopping giving financial advice might seem totally counter-intuitive, right? In this article I explore why holding back from giving advice can consistently help you sell more financial planning and serve your clients better.
Clients are not willing to pay fees for financial planning - really?
“Clients are not willing to pay fees for financial planning!” This was the bold claim of an adviser in a post I recently read on LinkedIn. You might refer to this as a 'gross generalisation' because, quite clearly, there are many people who do already pay fees for financial planning.
Better time management for financial advisers and planners
As a financial planner are you as productive as you would like to be? Would you like to get more done, in less time, and with none of the stress? In this article I am going to explore the hidden factor that leads to genuinely better time management for financial advisers and planners.
How to successfully sell financial planning
Genuine financial planning is very different from providing purely transactional financial advice. So, how you sell financial planning is a different kind of conversation too. Would you like it to be easier to sell financial planning engagements?
Building a financial planning business - overcoming the biggest obstacle
Building a financial planning business is not easy! In fact, you are far from alone if you find it challenging. This article explores one of the biggest obstacles of all and how to rapidly get back on track.
Getting financial planning clients - the only obstacle
Getting financial planning clients is the number one challenge for many advisers. But why is it such a challenge? It is not for the reasons that most people think...
Time management for financial planners - why helpful tips are not the answer
How often have you felt like you had way too much to do, way too little time to do it, and you've stressed out as a result?
To succeed you must have self belief... really?
If you have a goal or outcome that is important to you and you want to go for it, then what does self belief and whether you have it or not have to do with it?