The Client-centred Blog

Without the fear, what would you do?

Fear, if misunderstood, is such a debilitating emotion.

When I began my coaching practice it soon became obvious that the business and personal challenges that people experienced were almost always some kind of fear in disguise.

I noticed that when people were stuck or struggling – to get clients, build a better practice, make a decision or a transition – it was rarely that people did not know what to do.

In fact, the one thing we are not short of is information. If you want to know how to do something, then just Google it.

Michael Gerber, author of ‘The E-myth’ said:

‘Why is it that with all the information available today on how to be successful in small business, so few people really are?’

It always comes back to misunderstood fear.

If you reflect for a moment, do you have an aspect or area of your life where fear (in any of its many forms) seems to show up regularly and blocks the huge potential you know you have?

Most of us do and what fear does is distort our thinking and makes it unreliable.

Fear causes the imagination to run wild, filling in the blanks with scenarios that scare us. And because fear can feel so intense it fools us into making decisions that do not stand up to scrutiny or we get into a state of learned helplessness and do nothing.

Fear and financial planning

No one is immune from fear and our clients are in the same boat as us.

If you are in the business of helping clients to make astute life choices and plan for the life they want, then it is essential that you can help them see past their fears and think with clarity.

This is much easier to do when we have been willing to confront our own fears because it gives us humility and understanding. It gives you a genuine and inspiring story to tell.

Understanding the impersonal nature of thought

Fear becomes problematic for us when we take it personally. If we have a fearful thought and we think it is a representation of reality, then it can easily lead into downward spiral of limiting beliefs and anxious feelings.

But fearful thoughts are not reality. They are a made-up reality.

The conventional approach to trying to deal with fear so often fails because the very act of dealing with something means we think it must be real.

This is like keeping a baseball bat in your bed so you can bash the monster from under the bed when it appears!

The way the human thought system works is that you cannot separate thought and feeling. You have a thought and you feel it.

This is how all feelings work and if we read more into it than this then we are getting caught up in the illusion.

So, what is there to do?

Nothing. See your fears for what they are – feelings created by thought in the moment. They are not information about your life. There is no monster under the bed.

It is natural to to get caught out by our fearful thoughts from time to time because we forget how the system works and thoughts are very powerful.

At the same time, with real understanding, I have seen many people’s fears, often ones that have plagued them for years, fall away in an instant and they become free to create or do what they want.

Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn

Leave a Comment

Related articles

The 12 Client-centred mind shifts - part 3
Have you ever considered what creates the very highest value for your financial planning clients? I am going to suggest it is not, important as they are, the financial arrangements you recommend and put in place for them. No. It is their own mind shifts.
The twelve client-centred mind shifts - part 1
You have worked hard to become a qualified financial professional. You are making a difference in the lives of your clients and your business is steady. This is a big, well-deserved success and there is much to celebrate. Yet at this stage you might also pause, reflect, and ask yourself, “What’s next?”
How to transcend the financial planner comfort zone
Our comfort zone can be very limiting. For instance, it can hold you back from realising your greater potential, making a bigger difference to your clients, and experiencing greater success. So, in this article I explore what a financial planner comfort zone is and what it takes to transcend it. 
How to deal with imposter syndrome
Do you ever feel like an imposter in your role, that you will get 'found out', or do not deserve your success? If so, you are far from alone as this is extremely common amongst business people.
Resilience: An essential key to building a financial planning practice
Have you noticed how resilience has become a hot topic in business? For instance, there are TED talks on it, articles in the Harvard Business Review, and covid brought into sharp focus how unforeseen events can literally change our lives in a moment. This article explores a deeper understanding of resilience and why it is key for building a financial planning practice.
The 7 secrets of thriving in a long-term financial planning career
It seems to me that many people lose their passion for what they do, especially if they have done it for a long time. So, what are the secrets of thriving in a long-term financial planning career?
Better time management for financial advisers and planners
As a financial planner are you as productive as you would like to be? Would you like to get more done, in less time, and with none of the stress? In this article I am going to explore the hidden factor that leads to genuinely better time management for financial advisers and planners.
The hidden secret of where you find financial planning clients
Do you want to know the hidden secret of where you find financial planning clients? Most of the advice on how to find financial planning clients is prescriptive. It tells you what to do or where to look. Yet how helpful is this?
What are the three roles of a lifestyle financial planner?
Do you ever find your role as a lifestyle financial planner being overly complex? Would you like it to be simpler, more productive, and more rewarding? If so, this article considers that there are only three core roles of a lifestyle financial planner.
Building a financial planning business - overcoming the biggest obstacle
Building a financial planning business is not easy! In fact, you are far from alone if you find it challenging. This article explores one of the biggest obstacles of all and how to rapidly get back on track.
10 career boosting books for financial planners
Why do people's careers stall, stagnate, become mundane, fall short of expectations, and, ultimately, lack the rewards they want? In my experience it is rarely lack of...
The three types of financial planning client
There are three types of financial planning client you can build your practice around. And because the three types are defined by what the client values, it can make a massive difference to the quality of your business.
Financial Planning clients for life - the one thing you MUST do
Creating happy, enthusiastic, loyal financial planning clients for life requires you to do one thing well, and consistently. What is that one thing?
How to get financial planning clients - the only way I know
Financial planning is not a commodity. It is experiential and conversations are right at the core of this.
Time management for financial planners - why helpful tips are not the answer
How often have you felt like you had way too much to do, way too little time to do it, and you've stressed out as a result?
To succeed you must have self belief... really?
If you have a goal or outcome that is important to you and you want to go for it, then what does self belief and whether you have it or not have to do with it?
The best prospecting advice for financial planners
Why do some financial planners seem to effortlessly find clients whilst others experience growing their practice as a constant struggle?
What does it really take to 10x grow a financial planning business?
There is a critical factor in growing your financial planning business that is often misunderstood.
Can coaching for financial planners really help your career?
Why are an increasing number of financial planners choosing to work with a coach? Is it something that could help you accomplish your most important goals and realise more of your potential as a financial planner? Read on to discover why coaching works...
Financial planning relationships - how to add massive long-term value
No matter how long you have known your client what is the secret to continuing to add massive value? Imagine when you first meet a new client and the early period of your relationship. In the beginning...