Why can it be a mistake to make your financial planning conversations too nice?
This article explore why creating tension in a conversation is being of service to your client.
Of course financial planning conversations, or any conversation, with a client should always be professional, respectful, non-judgemental and ‘in service’ to the client.
Yet what does ‘in service’ actually mean?
To me, it means that I am placing my priority upon helping my client get what they want.
For instance, if they have identified meaningful goals or objectives that they are committed to then my job is to help them stay on track and achieve their goal.
It means helping them to navigate and overcome the inevitable obstacles that come up along the way.
Isn’t this one of the ultimate goals of a financial planning relationship?
Understanding the gap
When we set a goal, it immediately creates a gap between where we are now and the accomplishment of the goal.
A lot can happen in that gap.
As I know from my own personal experience and from coaching people for two decades that we can come off track very easily and very quickly.
Why does this happen?
Because of both external (unforeseen) factors and internal barriers. Most, if not all, people will have psychological barriers. Often, these are ones they are completely unaware of such as limiting beliefs, self-sabotaging behaviours, or becoming discouraged. A significant number of people do not follow the perfectly good advice that are given.
Whilst you are not ultimately responsible for your client’s behaviour or results there is a lot you can do to improve the odds.
Raising the tension level
It is by raising the tension level in a client and causing them to feel uncomfortable that has them up their game. It can bring into sharp focus what needs to be done and what is required of them to do it.
So, the first step is bringing something into their awareness.
Imagine you have two tools are your disposal. A flashlight and a mirror. With a flashlight you are shining a bright light on something that normally remains in the dark. With a mirror you are reflecting back at someone what you see.
You only do this with permission and always with your client’s best interests at heart. Yet it can be uncomfortable for any of us to be confronted with our erroneous thinking and behaviour.
This is not cruel or unprofessional. For me, ignoring or sidestepping issues is far worse.
Overcoming our own obstacles
Mastering the skill of raising the tension level first requires a shift in us.
The challenge for many advisers is that they want their clients to like them. Many will have built their business upon being likeable and creating a good rapport. It can initially seem counter-intuitive to create tension and there might be a fear of a client taking their business elsewhere.
So, the shift is becoming comfortable with our client feeling uncomfortable.
In my experience clients do not go elsewhere when they know you are taking a stand for them and helping them get what they want.
What happens when you master this skill?
It will create stronger relationships with your clients and have them value your counsel far more highly.
If you want to, it will allow you to work with bigger, more successful clients. These kinds of people value that you hold their goals more highly than your need to be liked.
P.S. Do you want to become a master of asking great questions? If so, check out the ‘Financial Planning Power Questions.’
