Twitter Linkedin
Twitter Linkedin

The Client-centred Blog

How to have a great first conversation 

The first conversation you have with a potential client sets the tone for everything that comes afterwards.

Therefore, it is essential to make it a great conversation, meaning that the person feels listened to, understood, and completely trusts you. 

This matters whether they become a client or not because people talk. I have had referrals from people I have had conversations with but who did not become a client themselves.

There seems to be plenty of information available on the content or process of a first conversation. Whilst this is fine it leaves out the most significant factor of all.

Rule number one for great first conversations

Your inner orientation is everything.

A useful way to understand this is by looking at the three levels of relationship you can create with another person.

Level one

At level one the relationship is all about all about me and what I am getting out of it. Therefore, it is a relationship based upon taking.

Level two

At level two the relationship is about what we are both getting out of it. So, it is a relationship based upon give and take.

Level three

At the level the relationship is completely about meeting your needs. So, it is a relationship based upon giving.

To have a powerful, positive impact upon someone, where you are conveying absolute trust then the only way you can do this is from level three.

Stop trying to ‘come across’

One of the biggest barriers that I had to learn to overcome was my concern with how I was coming across.

What I discovered was that, paradoxically, the more concern I have about how I am coming across the worse I come across. 

So, it is better to not be concerned with how I am coming across at all. This means dropping all thoughts about myself (click here for a short video from teacher Michael Neill).

One of the problems that prescriptive behavioural advice can create is that it turns your attention onto yourself and what you are doing.

As an example, a few weeks ago I wrote a post on ‘Why elevator pitches don’t work‘. I was pointing out that any form of pitching to a client (about you, your firm, your experience, etc.) falls into trying to manipulate how you are coming across.

The exception to this is if you are invited to or ask permission to deliver information because this is an appropriate context. 

Success is all about relationships   

Ultimately, financial planning is a relationship business and exceptional relationships are built on human connection, rapport, and trust. This begins with the very first conversation.

What gets in the way is ego thinking. The ego is only ever concerned with its own gain, and this is why, if we allow it to, it will contaminate a relationship.

How you get past this is through greater awareness of your thinking and orientating yourself towards healthy feelings. In turn, this helps you to bring out the best in your client and naturally leads to the behaviours that best serve your client.

PS. What many people think is that to have better meetings you need more tools. This is very rarely the case, if ever. What will improve any and every meeting is increasing the quality of your presence and attention. Want to know more? Click here to read, ‘The little understood power of the present moment.’   

  • Share
Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn

Leave a Comment

SEARCH BLOG

RECENT POSTS

BLOG CATEGORIES

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

John Dashfield spent 14 years as a self-employed adviser. Since 2006 he has been a coach, mentor and author helping advisers create transformations in their business and personal lives.

Related articles

Client meetings: why speak from your heart and not just your head?
If you were forced to do just one activity in your business and had to relinquish all else, what would that one activity be? In my experience most advisers would say: "Spending my time meeting with clients." Is this true for you?
Read more >
Top 10 coaching books for financial planners
If you are doing genuine financial planning where you are helping your client identify and accomplish their goals and live the life they want then coaching them is a necessity. After all, life is full of distractions and people come off track all the time. For example, people can lose focus or their sense of purpose. From time to time they may feel discouraged, disheartened, or overwhelmed.
Read more >
Five steps financial planners can take to becoming an exceptional listener
Being an exceptional listener is one of the most effective and reliable ways to build or deepen any relationship. It also makes you different from most other people. In her book, 'Time to think'Certainly not at the level which you can have a profound impact on people and take the impact of your work to whole new level. This article shares five practical steps you can take to immediately become a better listener. But before we look at the steps we want to know WHY? Why would you want to improve your listening in the first place?
Read more >
Why challenging your financial planning clients is great for business
The key difference between a transactional financial adviser a 'Trusted adviser' is how the adviser is positioned in the mind of the client. As a 'Trusted Adviser' you are someone a client turns to for your valued input, advice, opinion, help with key decisions, and possibly coaching. A good description shared with me by a financial planner is that a 'Trusted Adviser' is a member of a client’s 'inner circle'.
Read more >
Should you take notes in a financial planning meeting?
What is the right approach to note taking in financial planning meetings? This is a question that often comes up in my coaching programmes with financial planners. So, let's take a closer look.
Read more >
Client meeting not going well? Here's what to do
Have you ever been in a client meeting and sensed that it's not going well? If you have you wouldn't be alone. In fact, I am sure it happens to all of us occasionally. This article shares what to do if you are ever in this situation.
Read more >
What is the true value of a financial adviser in turbulent times?
The last thing that brought our minds into sharp focus of how unforeseen event can change our lives was covid. That was until Donald Trump imposed trade tariffs. The result being that the world’s stock markets have fallen sharply and may fall further still. As a financial professional you are at the sharp end of this. Many of your clients will have products and investments that will be affected. Some may be worried, and they do not want to feel like this. So, what can you do?
Read more >
Too much information: Give clients only what they need (not everything you have)
How clients feel is hugely important to how they receive information. If they are overwhelmed of fearful for instance, it's likely that meetings will go poorly. On the other hand, if the client feels relaxed and calm, generally meetings will be successful.
Read more >
The importance of honesty in client relationships
Building a thriving practice, based on making a bigger difference to clients has many aspects to it. One of the most fundamental is that client relationships are based on truth. It can feel uncomfortable (at first) to share your truth with clients and allow them to do the same with you. Yet what is the alternative?
Read more >
The 8 keys to inspiring financial planning meetings every time!
There are specific and predictable keys that result in inspiring financial planning meetings every time. And by paying attention and making consistent progress with each key, you are: 1. No longer leaving the quality of your meetings to chance. 2. Raising the bar to an exceptionally high level. In this article I list the 8 essential keys that contribute to an inspiring, repeatable process.
Read more >
How to ask powerful financial planning questions
Asking great financial planning questions is the foundation of creating a highly compelling plan for your client. When your client can clearly see that their financial plan is going to be an essential part of getting what they most want then why wouldn't they be excited about it?
Read more >
What are great clients really paying for?
A while back I read a long article in the financial press about choosing a financial adviser. From what was written it seemed that much of the industry continues to see advice as a commodity and under values the potential impact of the human element.  To quote directly from the article: "Aside from cost, your choice of financial adviser comes down to how much confidence, expertise and time you have to manage your own investments." Really?
Read more >
The importance of context in client conversations
The context in which a conversation takes place really matters. Without it, conversations can feel misaligned, confusing, or even conflicting.  
Read more >
Highly effective rapport building for financial planners
A deep rapport with your client is the foundation for a productive, profitable, and long-lasting relationship. Therefore, being highly effective at quickly building and maintaining a deep rapport is an essential skill for financial planners.
Read more >
Stop guessing and start listening: How assumptions can switch off clients
When are you planning to retire? This seems like a perfectly reasonable questions for a financial planner to ask a client, right? Yet is it perfectly reasonable?
Read more >
Seven ways to become effortless to do business with
One of the keys to creating a thriving practice is to make it effortless for clients to say 'Yes' to doing business with you. People do not enjoy saying ‘No’. They really want to say ‘Yes’ because they want their decisions and their life to be easy.
Read more >
The power of the pause: why silence in conversations matters
How comfortable are you with silence? The reason I ask is because we are culturally conditioned to leave very small gaps when we speak to each other. 
Read more >
The right way to set financial planning goals
In this article, you are going to discover how to help your clients set financial planning goals, the right way. You are also going to learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy goals and how this makes a massive difference to your client’s level of motivation, inspiration, and enjoyment of life now.
Read more >
A simple financial planning questions formula
Effective, heartfelt communication is a natural consequence of a free and present state of mind. This is why trying to use techniques so often diminishes the potential rather than improving it. Questions are a great example. Trying to memorise a question or a series of questions will more than likely work against you rather than for you. So, what can you do?
Read more >
Real financial planning - is it just about the money?
Real financial planning - is it just about the money? What is the value (to a client) of a financial planning relationship? Far too many financial advisers and planners seem to assume that a client's primary interest is in financial products, investments, and getting a better return on their money. Yet the truth is that this is more often the adviser’s primary interest rather than the clients.
Read more >
What two things are clients REALLY buying?
What if what you think you're selling, isn't what you're actually selling. Watch the video in my latest blog post to discover how knowing the true outcome of your work, will help you engage more deeply and fully with your clients.
Read more >
How to start a financial planning conversation
When starting a financial planning client relationship, do not make the opening conversation about you. Whilst they may or may not want to know more about you, it communicates to the client that their problems, thoughts and feelings are not the most important thing to the adviser.
Read more >
The importance of empathy in financial planning
One of the most important aspects of successful financial planning is the feeling of human connection between you and your client. Without that feeling of human connection the financial planning process is more likely to fail to come to life and be meaningful.
Read more >
Are your financial planning conversations too nice?
Why can it be a mistake to make your financial planning conversations too nice? This article explore why creating tension in a conversation is being of service to your client.
Read more >
The courage to ask essential financial planning questions
Financial planning and advice are often triggered by an event. That event may have already happened, be about to happen, or may be some way out into the future.  Find out how you can connect with your client better by finding out about their feeling around a significant life event.
Read more >
Will your financial plan pass the 'so what' test?
Imagine that you have gone through the discovery process with your client and your next meeting is to present your carefully crafted financial plan. You want the meeting to be a success and have the client be enthusiastic about your recommendations. So, how can you give yourself the highest and best chance of this happening? 
Read more >
The truth about trust building for financial planners
Everyone knows that absolute trust is at the core of a successful relationship between a financial planner and a client. But where does real trust come from? And how do you create absolute trust quickly and reliably?
Read more >
Top ten essential inter-personal skills for financial planners
Is technical ability a guarantee of a successful and prosperous career as a financial planner?  The answer is 'no' because being a successful practitioner is just as much about people as it is a technical role. So, in this article I am looking at my top ten essential inter-personal skills for financial planners.
Read more >
The amazing power of questions
As a financial planner or adviser people come to you for your knowledge and expertise. Yet, first and foremost, you must create a context for advice so that when it is provided, people successfully implement it and get the outcome they want. The only way I have found of creating this context is to ask appropriate, intelligent questions and listen very carefully.
Read more >
Financial Planner? Are you selling drills or holes?
In my career as a financial adviser the training and qualification process was all about pensions, investments, insurances, tax, markets, trusts, risk, and so on. So, in the beginning this is what I talked to people about because this is what I thought you did. It did not occur to me until several years later that I was selling something that no one really wanted.
Read more >
How to get more financial planning referrals
Would you like to generate more high quality financial planning referrals?
Read more >
Why financial planning clients are paying for leadership
Why do clients seek out professional help from a financial planner or adviser? Specific reasons are many, but fundamentally it comes down to only two things: 1. They have a problem to solve 2. They want to feel better  This is how value is created and this article explores a core factor in this process.
Read more >
Your social self verses your professional self
Finances are a challenging subject for many people, perhaps most. So, for someone to seek out a financial planner or advisers help is a big deal. Yet just because someone receives good financial advice does this mean they will automatically be successful in achieving what they want?
Read more >
When is your financial advisory client ready for deeper conversations?
Do you want to have deeper conversations with your clients but concerned about whether they are ready? If so, you are not alone. A typical scenario is that a financial adviser has a transactional relationship with a client and wants to shift to a financial planning relationship.
Read more >
Listening is a super power
Perhaps the most underrated skill for a financial planner or adviser is listening. Is there anything more important? I appreciate that you need to know what you are talking about. Yet this is a given, isn't it?
Read more >
The importance of relaxing your financial planning client
One of my financial planner clients made an astute observation when he said: "It takes a lot of courage for a client to meet with a financial planner." He understands that when he first meets with a new client, or even an existing one, they may have a lot on their mind.
Read more >
The power of creating client agreements
This article is about a powerful, proven way you can add significant value to all your client relationships. So, let me share with you a recent experience of the process in action. I have just spent three days in London as part of the AJC Coaching Career School.
Read more >
Financial planner? Stop trying to prove your value
Do you ever concern yourself with trying to prove your value to a client or potential client? If so, you would be far from alone.  It can be tempting to try and be impressive and this can be especially true in the sales process. Yet it is also destructive.  So, this article is about how you become free of that burden and naturally convey value without trying.
Read more >
Why slow down your financial planning conversations?
This article is about slowing down your financial planning conversations. But what does this mean and what makes it worth doing? Slowing down your conversations does not mean speaking slower or dragging out a conversation for no reason. That would make no sense. It is about creating significantly more value for your clients.
Read more >
Why is a client’s well-being at the core of financial planning?
Just recently I read an article in Professional Adviser about how financial advisers see financial well-being in relation to financial planning (according to a study by Standard Life). The research showed that 71% of advisers view supporting financial well-being as a secondary part of their business in comparison with financial planning in general. Only 22% of advisers say supporting financial well-being is a 'core part of their business'.
Read more >
How to make your financial planning meetings better than ever
Do you want to conduct outstandingly good financial planning meetings? This seems exceptionally important to me because the quality of the meetings you conduct are the foundation of building a thriving, profitable, and sustainable practice. This article is about the number one way to achieve consistent and continual improvement of your financial planning meetings and get all the rewards for doing so.
Read more >
Deep rapport and why it matters
Rapport is an essential element in creating strong, productive and lasting client relationships. It is also a highly significant factor in not only the provision of financial planning and advice, but also whether your client follows it. Below is a link to an audio recording (18m39s) where I take a look at:
Read more >
The 12 client-centred mind shifts - part 2
You almost certainly have clients that are worried about their finances, what might happen in future, and if they are doing the right things. We are living in challenging times. Some advisers avoid their clients at times like this. They don't want to tell them their investments have gone down or be faced with having to explain themselves.
Read more >
The most powerful two word financial planning question
This articles shares a two-word financial question that can significantly increase the value of financial planning for a client. It is also be great for opening up new business opportunities too. So, let me share how I was inspired to write this post.
Read more >
Top 10 ways to capture and keep your financial planning client’s attention
To make financial planning meaningful and a good investment for your client it requires them to be fully engaged and do their best thinking in your meetings. Yet we also live in a society where an ever-increasing number of things are competing for our attention. People have shorter and shorter attention spans. So, how do you capture and keep your financial planning client’s attention?
Read more >
How to run magical financial planning review meetings - every time
When a client relationship is new it will feel fresh, engaging, and there will often be a lot to do. You are getting to know your client, they are getting to know you, and important issues are being dealt with. But how do you keep financial planning review meetings fresh, insightful, and inspiring, year after year?
Read more >
A simple guide to influencing financial planning clients
Do you want to become more effective at influencing financial planning clients? In this simple guide I explore one of the most crucial factors of influence you can apply immediately for better results.
Read more >
One of the best financial planning questions and how to use it
Often, the best financial planning questions are the ones that help a client to open up and think more deeply. Why is this important? Because the impact of your financial planning and advice is directly correlated to quality of the information you gather from your client.
Read more >
4 ways to create massive value financial planning meetings
Read more >
How to do a brilliant financial planning fact find
Doing a brilliant financial planning fact find underpins everything that you do for a client. It is what differentiates you from other financial planners and is a golden opportunity to build exceptional relationships and provide massive value. But there are also two very different elements to fact finding.
Read more >
The hidden secret to high-impact financial planning meetings
Do you want to have your financial planning meetings be high-impact, high-engagement experiences for both your clients and you? Of course! We all want this, don't we?
Read more >
5 steps financial planners can take to becoming a better listener
As a financial planner what value is there in becoming a better listener? Is it worth your time, effort, and focus to improve? This article explores the value of deep listening and 5 practical steps you can take to immediately become a better listener.
Read more >
Asking essential financial planning questions: the ones that no one else thinks to ask
This article looks at an important aspect of asking financial planning questions that often get neglected. Often, financial advice is triggered when something happens or is going to happens in a client’s life. For instance, the sale of a business, divorce, or an upcoming retirement.
Read more >
How financial planners can build instant trust with clients
As a financial planner building instant trust with clients is one of the biggest obstacles you will need to overcome. This article looks at a different yet highly effective approach.
Read more >
What is the most important financial planning question of all?
Do you want to have greater impact with your clients, create more value, and escape the diminishing world of transactional financial advice? If so, there is an important financial planning question.
Read more >
Presenting your clients financial plan - the key to success
Read more >
Great people skills - in an instant!
Is it possible to have great people skills in an instant?
Read more >
Are your financial planning conversations too friendly?
What is the difference between a financial advisory conversation and a financial planning conversation?
Read more >
Should Financial Planners stop talking about retirement?
Why should financial planners choose their language carefully in their financial planning conversations with clients?
Read more >
Understanding your client’s world – key number 1
Financial Advice is so often delivered in very unimaginative ways that has little difference to how the majority of practitioners deliver it.
Read more >

SEARCH BLOG

RECENT POSTS

BLOG CATEGORIES

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

John Dashfield spent 14 years as a self-employed adviser. Since 2006 he has been a coach, mentor and author helping advisers create transformations in their business and personal lives.

TELEPHONE
01580 753770

MOBILE
07860 682530

EMAIL
john@clientcentredadvisers.com

Copyright © 2023 Dashfield Coaching and Development LTD

Privacy Policy & Cookie Control