Everyone knows that trust sits at the heart of every successful financial planning relationship.
But where does real trust come from?
And how do you create it deeply, quickly, and reliably?
Most advisers assume trust is built through what they do.
In reality, it’s built through something far more subtle – and far more powerful.
The hidden tax of low trust
The late Stephen Covey once wrote a brilliant article called ‘How the best leaders build trust’.
In it, he pointed out that low trust acts like a hidden tax on every transaction, communication, and decision – slowing things down and driving costs up.
He suggested that significant distrust can double the cost of doing business and triple the time it takes to get things done.
If that’s true, then trust isn’t a “nice to have.”
It’s a commercial advantage.
Which makes it worth asking a deeper question:
What creates trust in the first place?
Trust isn’t just about what you do
If you explore the common advice on building trust, you’ll find it focuses almost entirely on behaviour:
*Keep your promises.
*Listen well.
*Be transparent.
*Follow through.
All important, yes. But incomplete.
We’ve all had the experience of someone who says the right things and does the right things… yet something in us doesn’t quite buy it.
We can’t always explain why. We just feel it.
Our intuition quietly whispers, “Something’s off.”
That’s because trust isn’t only about what you do.
It’s about who you are being while you’re doing it.
What really communicates trust
At the deepest level, trust is transmitted through your state of mind.
If you’re anxious, self-conscious, or subtly needy, people pick up on it. Often without realising how or why.
It doesn’t matter how polished your language is or how well-rehearsed your process is.
The emotional tone leaks through. The famous psychologist Sigmund Freud said:
“We leak the truth from every pore.”
But when you’re calm, grounded, and genuinely present, that also communicates itself.
Your client senses it. And they relax.
Trust isn’t something you manufacture. It’s something you radiate.
A real-world example
I once worked with an adviser who was struggling with his client acquisition conversations.
Everything would go smoothly.
He’d connect well. He’d listen. He’d understand where he could genuinely help.
Then the conversation would turn to fees.
And you could feel the shift.
He’d tense up.
The atmosphere in the meeting would subtly change.
And, predictably, clients would start pushing back.
Nothing changed in his words.
Everything changed in his state.
It wasn’t what he said that created the resistance.
It was the feeling behind it.
As Covey would say, that’s the hidden tax of low trust in action.
What makes a financial planner trustworthy?
Ultimately, building trust isn’t an outer game of saying the right things or following a behavioural checklist.
It’s an inner game.
It’s built on the quality of mind you bring into the room.
When your mind is clear and you’re free from your own insecurity, pressure, or need for approval, something shifts.
You stop trying to build trust. You stop managing impressions. You stop performing.
You simply show up.
And from that space, trust happens.
Effortlessly.
The role of thought
Thought is the architect of our experience.
When you understand how thought works, you start to recognise when not to take your thinking seriously, especially when it’s coming from tension, pressure, or self-doubt.
For me, this has been transformational.
If I’m feeling off – anxious, tight, or under pressure – I no longer assume something is wrong with the situation.
I see it for what it is: a temporary state created by thinking.
And the moment I see that, something settles. Clarity returns. Presence returns.
And from that space, trust naturally follows.
A question worth sitting with
So, here’s a question I’ll leave you with:
Are you trying to build trust with your clients…
or are you allowing the state of mind that creates trust to show up?
Because clients don’t ultimately decide to trust you based on your process, your credentials, or even your words.
They decide based on how they feel in your presence.
And that’s an inside-out game.
PS. Are you financial planning conversations too nice? Click here.
