Most financial planners are well-versed on the technical aspects of planning – investment knowledge, asset allocation, and financial strategies.
And those things absolutely matter.
But the truth is:
Without deep rapport, even the best advice can fail to land.
Clients may nod politely.
They may agree with your recommendations.
They may even implement some of them.
But they won’t fully open up.
They won’t share what truly matters to them.
They won’t feel safe enough to explore uncomfortable truths or make meaningful change.
And this matters, because the real work of financial planning isn’t just about money.
It’s about the real life, day to day, impact it has on and in a client’s life.
What is rapport?
Rapport is the sense of connection, harmony, trust, and cooperation between people.
Think of it as the oil that allows the engine of a relationship to run smoothly.
Without it, conversations become mechanical, guarded, or strained. Eventually, things grind to a halt.
For a financial planner, rapport isn’t just “nice to have.”
It’s foundational.
But rapport also exists on different levels.
The three levels of rapport
There are roughly three levels at which rapport shows up in client relationships.
1. Social Rapport
This is the polite, friendly, “we get on” level. It’s a social connection, often typified through things you have in common.
This is often enough for transactional relationships:
*A product sale.
*A simple information exchange.
*A short-term partnership.
Many advisers stop here without realising it. Their meetings feel pleasant but are rarely truly impactful.
2. Contrived Rapport
This is rapport created through intentionally using techniques.
As a former NLP practitioner, I taught methods like matching and mirroring. And used skilfully, they can help to build connection quickly.
But here’s the limitation:
If your attention is on what you’re doing, you’re not fully present.
Using techniques can create the appearance of rapport, but they rarely reach the depth required for transformational financial planning conversations.
3. Deep Rapport
This is the level where the magic happens.
Deep rapport isn’t a tactic.
It’s a state.
It arises when:
*Judgment drops away.
*Personal agendas fall aside.
*People drop out of their personal thinking and connect at a deeply human level.
It can’t be faked.
Clients feel it instantly.
With deep rapport:
*People open up far more easily and readily.
*There is a meeting of minds.
*Goodwill builds organically.
*Honesty becomes effortless.
*Understanding occurs naturally.
And this is where financial planning stops being transactional and becomes profoundly meaningful.
Why deep rapport is becoming essential
In a digital world where:
Products can be bought online, information is abundant, and advice can be automated, purely transactional relationships are becoming less viable.
Clients are far more likely to stay with a financial planner who they feel:
*Understands them.
*Cares deeply about them.
*’Gets’ them
*Helps them think and feel better about their lives
Deep rapport isn’t just good for relationships, it’s good for business.
The key to building deep rapport naturally
Some advisers seem to build deep rapport effortlessly.
But the determining factor isn’t personality.
It’s mental presence.
The more thinking you have on your mind, the harder it is to connect deeply.
This is why rapport-building techniques have their limits.
If you’re thinking about how to build rapport, you’re not fully in the conversation.
Deep rapport shows up naturally when your mind is clear.
When you:
Let go of distractions.
Drop into the moment.
Simply be with the client in front of you.
A practical check before every client meeting
Before you have your next client meeting, ask yourself:
“Am I mentally present or am I distracted?”
If necessary, give yourself a moment to settle.
Take a breath.
Let your mind quieten down.
Then notice your client when they arrive.
Are they present?
Or do they seem preoccupied?
If they’re distracted, the first task is not to jump into planning.
It’s to help them settle and become fully engaged.
Even a minute or two of genuine presence can transform the quality of the conversation that follows.
PS. Do you want to be effortless to do business with? Click here to discover how.
