The first step in every new client relationship is simple: connection.
Sometimes they find you. Sometimes you reach out to them.
Either way, the next step is always the same: you invite them into a conversation.
And conversations are where everything begins. Without them, nothing happens.
But once you’re in a conversation, there are two essential questions to ask yourself if you want to work only with wonderful clients:
*Can I help?
*Do I want to?
There’s a third ingredient just as important: every conversation must create value.
Even if someone never becomes a client, they should walk away feeling like something meaningful shifted for them.
In fact, over the years some great referrals have come from people who never hired me — but who left our conversation enriched.
Why we sometimes end up with “less-than-wonderful” clients
So why do we sometimes end up working with clients who drain us?
Clients who are unprofitable, unresponsive, demanding, or simply not a fit?
Because we rush.
And why do we rush?
Because we’re focused on the outcome.
We want to “win the business,” close the deal, ease the pressure we’re feeling.
I used to do this all the time. The result? I worked with clients who weren’t right for me — and I ended up depleted.
It wasn’t until my coach held up a mirror that I saw the truth:
When we feel pressure inside, we look for relief outside.
“I need this business.”
“I need the money.”
And maybe you do need money — but you don’t need that person’s money.
Here’s the paradox:
Slowing down doesn’t harm your business. It grows it.
What slowing down really looks like
I recently worked with an adviser making the shift from being transactional to creating deeper value with clients.
At her next meeting, instead of diving into products, she asked her client — Marie, a successful businesswoman — a very different question:
“What drives you? What inspires you to put so much energy into your work?”
Marie lit up. She spoke passionately about a humanitarian project in Africa she dreamed of starting.
The dream was big. But there was no plan.
This gave the adviser a beautiful opportunity to gently challenge her:
“You’ve got this huge dream… but no plan. How come? How does that make sense to you?”
That kind of challenge can be transformational. It can turn a vague dream into an actionable project. That’s value you can’t put a price on.
Why curiosity beats advice
Michael Bungay Stanier, in The Advice Trap, says it perfectly:
“We keep giving advice even though it doesn’t work that well.”
His solution?
Stay curious a little longer.
And you can only do that if you’re willing to slow down.
Because most people won’t, it gives you a huge advantage if you do.
Coming back to the two questions
So, let’s return to the essentials:
*Can I help?
*Do I want to?
Wonderful clients want to collaborate. You partner with them to help them accomplish what truly matters to them.
Not just provide routine product-based, transactional advice — the kind they can get anywhere.
And your job?
To slow down enough to discover what truly matters to them.
PS. Discover the eight keys to inspiring financial planning meetings every time. Click here.
