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Why the best financial planners don’t start with the numbers – and what to do instead

When a someone sits down with you for the very first time what are they expecting?

Every situation will be different, but most people will be expecting a left-brained conversation driven by numbers and financial products.

Of course, that’s part of the mix but in my experience, there are three silent questions that are almost always running through their mind:

*Do I like you?

*Can I trust you?

*Can you really help me?

What answers these essential questions?

Most of the financial planning and advice profession still leans on a familiar model: 

Diagnose the problem, prescribe the solution. It’s logical, safe, and what you are qualified to do.

Yet this also bypasses the opportunity to make the experience so much richer and more engaging for your client.

If you want to be unforgettable and be the kind of adviser who makes a real impact, there are many alternative ways to begin.

Here are 10 powerful ways to serve clients profoundly from the very first conversation.

1. Connect money to what matters most

Money on its own is meaningless. It’s a vehicle, not the destination. When you connect finances to someone’s life, family, values, dreams, and meaningful goals, the conversation transforms. It’s what brings financial planning to life.

2. Resist the urge to problem solve

During your conversations you are going to hear situations you know you can help with. And it’s natural to want to prove your worth by solving problems quickly. 

But slow down. Stay curious. The longer you explore, the more you uncover what truly matters, build trust and connection.

3. Listen with your whole presence

There’s listening — and then there’s deep listening. This is listening with nothing on your mind. 

When you’re willing to listen like this you naturally hear more. You connect more deeply. You get a sense of the feeling behind the words. This builds a level of trust that most advisers never reach. 

4. Be a partner, not just an expert

Your expertise is essential — but being the expert can also create distance. When you collaborate, clients feel like they’ve found not just an adviser, but a genuine partner.

5. Let go of the outcome

The moment you become attached to getting a “yes,” you create internal pressure. This will affect your behaviour.

When you learn to show up unattached, you’re lighter, freer, and more present. Paradoxically, that’s often when clients lean in.

6. Assume less, question more

The highest form of value a client can get from you is their own insights. It’s when they realise something new and, as a result, they change.    

How do you create an environment for insight? Assume less, question more. This can unlock thoughts you’d never otherwise hear.

7. Help clients to convince themselves

Real change only sticks when it comes from within. Instead of persuading, invite reflection. Don’t be afraid to ask a question like: “What makes this worth doing for you?” When they hear their own reasons, commitment follows naturally.

8. Remember what you’re really offering

No one wakes up wanting a financial plan. What they long for is peace of mind, freedom, clarity, choice, and freedom from pressure. Your role is to discover their values and show how your work gives them that.

9. Don’t be afraid of telling the truth

Avoiding tension might feel polite, but often it’s avoiding the truth. Telling clients the truth about their situation or calling them out on their erroneous thinking or behaviour can feel difficult.

Yet done with permission and kindness, those courageous conversations are often the ones clients value most and have the biggest impact.

10. Take the pressure off the client

Even though they may not show it, many people are likely to show up to a meeting feeling under pressure. Especially as they are getting to know you.

So, it can be powerful to recognise this and take the pressure off. For instance, reassuring them they there is no rush, and you are happy to go at their pace.

Go beyond techniques

These aren’t techniques. They’re ways of showing up — with presence, humanity, and care.

When you do that, trust builds naturally. Credibility grows. And before a single strategy is discussed, your client feels seen, understood, and served.

Which of these 10 ways can you bring into your very next client conversation?

PS. What makes a client want to engage a financial planner? Click here to find out.

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John Dashfield spent 14 years as a self-employed adviser. Since 2006 he has been a coach, mentor and author helping advisers create transformations in their business and personal lives.

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John Dashfield spent 14 years as a self-employed adviser. Since 2006 he has been a coach, mentor and author helping advisers create transformations in their business and personal lives.

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